The teacher inquired softly of the student, “There is a big stone. Do you consider it to be inside or outside your mind?”

The student replied confidently, “In Zen everything is an objectification of the mind. Therefore I would say that the stone is certainly within my mind.”

The teacher smiled. “Your head must be very heavy, if you are carrying a rock like that in your mind.” The two walked the rest of the way in peaceful silence.

I’m quite pleased with our choice for the headstone on my mother’s grave. It’s a beautiful piece of stone. It took almost a year before the grave was finished. Instead of a cover plate I chose for a rectangular edge covering the whole grave. The grave itself becomes a small garden.

I’m conflicted about something as permanent as a grave. My father wanted a reference to the Johann Sebastian Bach Cantata BWV 140 - 6 on the headstone.

Mein Freund ist mein!
Und ich bin sein!
Die Liebe soll nichts scheiden!

My mother probably didn't have much connection with Bach or any Aria for that matter. When she was young she loved Jacques Brel. Her wish was to be buried and return to nature.

Whenever I see a stone I have to think about the zen koan The Stone Mind. “Your head must be very heavy, if you are carrying a rock like that in your mind.” Remembering the dead is for the living.